101 Ways to Annoy Severus Snape
by Who dunit why I dunit
Summary: Jadine's friends give her a list of things to do to Professor Snape, to get him to quit teaching. Jadine's Gryffindor courage makes her accept. What will Snape do to her? Or has she bit off more then she could chew with the infamous Potions Master?
1. The List

"Jade!" Said three voices to a short girl who was sitting in the shade of a tree. Jadine Stone or as she's called by Jade looked up from her Potions essay to see her friends.

Maybella Smith, Ravenclaw fifth year, a shy girl who never really opened up to anyone. Her mother raised her without the father and no one knows who it is. Her mom to say it in the lest offense way was a rude bitch. Said rude things to everyone, and border line abused Maybella, or as she called Maylena Isabella. Apparently it was more classy then Maybella. She to Jade had the prettiest dark brown hair, so dark it looked black to most, coupled with striking brown eyes.

Araya Brown, another Ravenclaw same year as Maybella. While he is a thinker, hes more of the jokester of the group. To Jade he should have been like her, a Gryffindor. He like Maybella grew up without a father but it doesn't slow him down a bit. He's just waiting till his twenty-first birthday when his mom told him she'd tell him who his father was. He had a huge crush on Maybella, but under oath of death made Jade promise to not tell anyone. He had wavy black hair and grey-blue eyes.

Tiffany Lillie, also another fifth year Racenclaw, rounded out the trio. Shes the strength of the Ravenclaw trio. She helps others and makes sure no one is hurt, shes just there, giving a listening ear and a helping hand. She had to live with her Gran most of the summer since her parents where off doing whatever it was that they did. She had black hair that was always up in a braided bun, and near black eyes.

The Ravenclaw trio to Jadine was her best friends. None of the Gryffindor's really paid attention to her. The pathic girl with a flare for Potions and Defense. The girl whose parents disappeared two years ago, just after the birth of her littlest sister. "Yes?" She asked them as they sat around her.

"You know how you hate Snape and wish for him to just go to the mental ward with Lockhart?" Tiffany asked. Jadine nodded "Yeah? And?"

"Well we got a solution, a list of 101 things to annoy him." Maybella said to her. "Oh really and pray tell let me see this list then."

"Are you sure?" Araya said digging through his bag. "Oh god just give it to me." Araya handed her the parchment on which the list was written. It was rather long at first glance. Then she took a good look at it.

**Ways to annoy SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE.**

1) I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful."

2) If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.

3) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends."

- Then try to give them to Professor Snape as a gift.

4) I will stop asking Professor Snape when we will learn to make "Love Potion #9".

5) I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor.

- Nor will I claim to be so and try to sit next to Professor Snape at the Head Table.

6) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled Fire whiskey.

- Changing the label changes nothing.

- Offering some to Professor Snape while drunk is also a NO!

7) It is inappropriate to slip Selson Blue into Professor Snape's personal postbox.

- The same goes for Head & Shoulders.

8) There is not now, nor has their ever been a fifth house at Hogwarts. And I am not a member of that House, nor am I it's founder.

9) I am NOT allowed out of my dorms when visitors from the Ministry are here.

- Especially when running up to Professor Snape and calling him 'Daddy'!

10) I am not allowed to use Silencing Charms on my Professors.

- Especially when their in the middle of a rant.

- That goes double for Professor Snape.

11) I will not go to class sky clad.

- Especially Double Potions.

- Then ignore Professor Snape when he tells me to get some clothes on.

12) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer then fifteen seconds, I'm to assume that I'm not allowed to do it.

- That goes double if I think about doing it on Professor Snape.

13) My name is not "The Dark Lord Happy-Pants" and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.

- Especially if I only sign them on my Potions work.

14) "Draco Malfoy takes it up the Ass!" is not an acceptable Quittage Chant.

- Not even if it is effective.

- Nor is "Snape takes it up the Ass!"

- Because the Goal is to stop Draco not make everyone who hears faint/puke.

15) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug a Slytherin Day."

- Even if Dumbledore allows it.

- Nor am I to hug every Slytherin I see that day.

- Especially Snape.

16) I am not Xena Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance into any classroom.

- Especially if I only do it when I run in the Potions Classroom.

17) When asked a question by a Professor I will not inform them that the answer is protected by a Fidelius Charm and I am not the Secret Keeper.

- Even if it really is.

- This goes double for Professor Snape.

18) Crucifixes do not ward of Slytherin's.

- I should not test this.

- I will not do this and yell at them "Begone Satan!"

- Nor will I yell "Begone Satan! Hello Shamu!"

19) I do not know the Killing Curse, and pretending I do so in front of people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much the injure themselves diving for cover.

- Nor should I do this in Double Potions with Slytherin's and Gryffindor's.

20) I will not tell the Professors that they cannot assign Homework, as we do not actually go home during the School year to do it.

- Especially during the middle of one of Professor Snape's many rants.

21) My Professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear what I did with six boxes of sugar quills.

- Especially if it was perverted.

- Or perverted sounding.

- Especially if the professor is Snape.

22) Robes are not optional.

- That goes Double when I'm only wearing a micro-bikini underneath.

- That goes Triple when I wear Robes all day but dispose of it before Potions.

- That goes Quadruple when its Double Potions with Slytherin and Gryffindor.

23) I will not attempt to confuse Crabbe and Goyal by calling them by each others names.

- Then giggle insanely when Professor Snape calls their names out and each other answers for the other.

24) The proper way to report to my Professor is "Yes, Sir!" not "You cant prove a thing!"

- Especially when they can.

- Especially when its Professor Snape.

25) I am not being repressed.

- I should not scream so while trying to commit suicide by dunking my head in my cauldron.

26) In front of any male Professor go into a rant about how your on your period, and its a Grade-A pain in the ass.

- Then ask if he has any Midol.

- Especially when the Professor is Professor Snape

- Then when he says no, I'm not allowed to say "But I was sure you would have some I mean its not like your a male."

27) I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricate.

- Then wink at him.

28) I will not follow Potion instructions in reverse order "Just to see what happens."

29) It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape that he takes himself to seriously.

30) I will not tell first years that Professor Snape is the "Voice of God."

- Then claim they will be damned if they anger him, even once.

- Nor will I claim I am his servant and if they anger me, they anger him.

- Especially not in front of Professor Snape.

31) It is not necessary to yell "BURN!" every time Professor Snape takes point from Gryffindor.

- Nor is it necessary to yell out "PWNED!"

32) I will not spike my best friends pumpkin juice and tell her to go hit on Professor Snape.

- Nor will I dare her to spike my own, and have her tell me to hit on Professor Snape.

33) I will not bewitch my cauldron to change the freezing point of water. I will not ask Professor Snape why my potion is freezing while the cauldron is heated. Nor will I point out that I doubted from the beginning that he would be able to sort that out for me.

34) I am not allowed to eat Chocolate Frogs during Potions class.

- Even if I brought enough for everyone.

- Emptying a bag full of them onto Professor Snape's desk to prove this last one is unacceptable behavior.

- Even if I catch him stealing one from the pile after he gives me a detention.

35) Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums."

36) Neither does he respond well to "Sev" "Sevy-Poo" or "Sex God from the Above".

37) I am not allowed to eat lollipops within Professor Snape's site ever again.

- Nor bananas.

38) I will stop sending Professor Snape forged love notes that appear to be from Remus Lupin.

- Nor from me.

39) Professor Snape is not my personal Jesus.

- I may not tell other people that.

- Nor may I tell him that.

40) Professor Snape's Problem is not that he needs to get "laid."

- I shall not try to rectify that "Problem."

41) Professor Snape's proper name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing Glimmer McSparkles.

- I may not call him that.

- Not even if I add Professor before it.

42) I will not send Professor Snape love notes and signing them "With Love, Draco Malfoy." as it is not appropriate.

- Even if Draco gets a detention for it.

- Neither is signing them "I had a great time last night. Argus Filch."

- Even if Professor Snape avoids him like the plague afterwards.

43) Breaking into Song during Potions is not acceptable.

- Especially if the song is "I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

- Or "I'm to sexy."

-Or I'm bring sexy back."

- Then winking at Professor Snape.

44) I will not commit suicide.

- Especially in the Middle of the night, on the astronomy Tower, when I know Professor Snape is the only one patrolling.

- That goes double when he knows it as well.

45) When Professor Snape confronts me I will not yell out "Hey! Sevy has a girlfriend!" for anyone in the corridor to hear.

46) I will not tell Professor Snape to go to his "Happy Place."

- I will not insist that his "Happy Place." is with me.

- Nor in me.

47) Professor Snape has no interest in going down to "The Paradise City, where the grass is green, and the girls are pretty." And I should stop sending invitations to aforementioned place.

- I will not allude to the fact the place is on me.

- Nor within me.

48) At random moments in Potions class yell "Snape, Draco said Lucius wants his pink thong back!"

- Especially not in Double Potions with Slytherin and Gryffindor.

- This goes double for when Draco is in the room.

49) Telling first years that Professor Snape first name is Satan is a no.

- Especially when he can hear me.

50) Asking Professor Snape if a house ever fell on his sister is wrong.

- So is asking him where he keeps his flying monkeys and if I could touch them.

51) I will never douse Professor Snape in water just to see if he will melt.

52) Dropping a bucket of water on Professor Snape's head was only funny the 1st time... and the 2nd... and the 3rd. But the 4th time! NO WAY!

53) I will not yell out "Bat!" every time Professor Snape whooshes down the Hallways.

54) I will not call Professor Snape Alan and say hes a sexy beast.

55) The next time Professor Snape is being mean ask him if hes on his period.

56) The next time Professor Snape is acting pissy, stand really close to him and shout "Professor Snape, STOP TOUCHING ME THERE!".

- Proceed to Cry.

- Then sob and say "This isn't how I wanted you to love me!"

57) Ask Professor Snape if he knows the "Song that never ends."

- Proceed to sing it.

- While drunk.

- In the middle of class.

- During a test.

- When Professor Snape tells you to stop singing, reply by saying that you casted a charm on yourself and you wont be able to stop singing.

- Unless he kisses you that is.

- And it has to be a real kiss.

58) Give Professor Snape a box of chocolates filled with an orgasm-inducing potion.

- Cry if he refuses till he accepts.

- Cry until he eats one.

59) Pretend to not pay attention in Potions.

- When Professor Snape notices this and tells you to repeat what he just said, reply with, "Dime mi amor. Mi Todo." Which means 'Tell my my love, my everything.

- Pray he doesn't speak Spanish.

60) Whenever he calls you a know-it-all, tell him you know you want him.

61) Lick your lips whenever he looks at you.

- Make sure its seductively.

62) Tell him you want to have his children.

- Hand him a list of baby names.

- Make sure most are girl names.

- And embarrassing.

63) Smile seductively in his direction.

64) Play "Jaws" music when he walks toward you.

- Or the Golden Trio.

- Or Neville Longbottom.

65) When he calls on you, ask "So Professor Snape Boxers or Briefs?"

66) When he whispers meanly to you, put on a horrified expression and scream "YOU PEDO!" and flee the classroom.

67) Accidentally let him catch you pass a note to your friend on how cute he is.

68) Pass a note to Harry Potter just as Professor Snape is walking by, and wait for him to turn beat red when he starts to read it out loud.

- Make sure the note is inappropriate, so his face is really beat red.

- Make sure it blatantly obvious the note is about you and him.

69) Scream at him "MAKE THE VOICES IN MY HEAD STOP!" and start arguing with yourself.

- About him.

- In Double Potions with Slytherin's and Gryffindor.

70) Slip him a note saying "Do you like me?"

- Then wink.

- Wave and smile like an idiot when he reads it.

- Cry when he says no.

71) Cry during his class for no reason.

72) When he gives you a detention jump up and down like a little kid and yelling "Yay, yay, yay!"

73) Whenever he talks shout something random.

- Make sure its perverted.

74) Refer to him as 'Cuddles'.

- Try to cuddle with him due to his nickname.

- Cry when he pushes you away.

75) Offer to "bewitch his mind and ensnare his senses."

- Then say when he refuses "But you promised!"

76) Shiver with some undisclosed emotion when Professor Snape calls on you in class.

77) Should Professor Snape sarcastically enquire if you would like a detention, hold up a hand and say "I will not be swayed by your sweet words of temptation."

- Like wise Greet him for the 1st time each day with the warning "You stay out of my dreams, you master of temptation you."

78) Ask for Professor Snape's Autograph.

- Cry until you get one.

- Sniff it deeply when you get it.

- Fold it over your heart and swoon in front of him.

79) Ponder aloud on the color of his underwear.

- Or your own.

80) I will not throw Professor Snape down on the floor and try to have my way with him.

81) I must not call Potions "Home-Economics." in front of Professor Snape.

- Nor "Home-Ec."

82) I will not ask Professor Snape who dumped him and made him so cranky.

83) I can not call Professor Snape "The Sheriff on Nottingham."

84) A hug is not all Snape needs.

- I must not try to prove this.

- Especially by following him around all day and hugging him whenever he lest expects it or at random.

85) Touch his hair seductively.

86) Similarly I am not allowed to run my hands through Professor Snape's hair.

87) Walk into the Great Hall and confess you undying love for Professor Snape to everyone in attendance.

- And then wink at him.

89) Propose to him in front of the entire school.

- When he asks you why your doing this say "I thought you loved me!" Then run from the room.

90) I will not try to sneak into Professor Snape's shower.

91) I will not try to get Professor Snape interested in a love-life by telling him about S&M and Bondage. Hes evil enough without a love-life.

- Even though I would love to get tied up by him.

- Or Spanked.

- I should not tell him this.

92) Give him a sweet kiss to the cheek.

93) When he tells you off, and gets right in your face, ask "Are you coming onto me?"

- Then lean forward and kiss him.

- Run like hell.

94) Snog him then run.

95) In front of the staff tell him you cant live without him any longer.

- Then ask for Dumbledore's best wishes.

- Let Dumbledore in on the joke

96) Tell him your child cant live without its father.

97) Run after Professor Snape when he runs away from you in a busy hallway screaming "But you know the baby's yours Sev-Love! Don't you want to be a part of your child's life! I love you Sevy-Poo!"

98) Let him run off then say to everyone in the busy hallway your going to have his baby but he wants an abortion.

- Make sure he can hear you.

99) Hide under you desk in Potions. Pretend your sure he cant see you. Even if he bends to look straight in your eye.

- After a few seconds tackle him.

- Snog him senseless on the floor.

- In double Potions with Slytherin and Gryffindor's.

- Run like hell!

100) Go to his rooms, sneak in.

- Climb into his bed while hes sleeping.

- Straddle him as he sleeps on his back.

-Stare down into his face until he wakes up.

- Just as hes about to start yelling at you, smother him with kisses.

- Full on Snog Kisses.

And the final thing to never do to annoy SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE is...

101) Fall in love with him.

Jadine sighed. "I'm not kissing him, nor will I ever fall in love with that greasy haired git." "That's why we started out easy." Tiffany said.

"You probably wont even have to if the others before all that work!" Maybella assured her. Araya nodded.

Jadine glared at him. Then she sighed and stuffed the parchment in her pocket. "When do I get started?" She asked them.

"Tomorrow." They answered.

For the rest of the day she joked around with her friends, but Jadine Stone never backed out of a challenge. And if this got Snape off her hands, she'd do anything to get rid of him.


	2. Numbers 1 and 2

The next day found Jadine waking up to what else but Hermione. She gets up everyday like clockwork, and refuses to let others sleep in. She sighed and got ready for the day and headed down to the Common room.

"Ah Jade" "-In Stone!" "-Your parents had such a great sense of humor?" "No?" Jadine rolled her eyes as the Weasley Twins saw her and wrapped their arms around her shoulders. "Allow us?" "-Madam to" "-Escort you to" "-Breakfast."

"If you'll leave me alone." She sighed as they laughed.

They made their way to the Great Hall, she managed to wrangle away from her captors and walked towards the Ravenclaw table, sitting down next to Tiffany. "They will be the death of me." She muttered as she piled eggs and bacon on her plate. "If Snape doesn't kill you first." Araya said sitting down across from her.

"Because that makes me feel so much better. I was reading that list more closely last night." Jadine started. "And?" Maybella said reaching over Araya's arm for some toast.

"I have to call him Daddy? I have to walk around naked? Perverted Sugar Quills? I don't even like them!" Jadine ticked off. "Yeah and Blood Popsicles are _so_much better." Araya muttered. Jadine ignored him and continued on. "Micro-bikini? Commit suicide? Twice? 'Its not like your a male.' I'm going to die for that!" Maybella shook her head. "Run like hell after you say that." Tiffany nodded. "I'm sure he wont kill you, most likely-" "Murder me! Anyway... 'Sex God from the above.'? 'I feel pretty.'? Bat? Alan? What is wrong with your minds?"

Araya sighed. "Where's your Gryffindor bravery? Aren't you the one who said 'I hate that greasy git! I want him gone! Gone to St. Mungo's!'" "Well yes but your all insane! Anyway I was just getting started. I have to get drunk? He's speaks Spanish! I'm dead for!"

Tiffany looked confused. "He speaks Spanish?" Jadine nodded. "And French, German, and Welsh." "Do I dare want to know how you know that?" Maybella asked. "Heard him say it to Dumbledore last year when talking about the Beaubaxtons. But he knows Spanish, I'm going to die because of you people! But I have to also say I want his kids! And try to cuddle with him! Propose to him! And snog him! You guys cant be Ravenclaws. You have to be Slytherins, but have been disguising yourselves as Ravenclaws."

"Ah but you were there for our Sorting. Because you got sorted behind all of us. So we know you weren't talking to the rest of your house." Araya said and grinned. Jadine rolled her eyes.

"Well I got Snape first thing today so I'll do the first thing. And see if Malfoy falls asleep like always, if he does I'll do the second thing as well." Jadine said, munching on a piece of bacon. Tiffany nodded. But Maybella blinked. "How did you paired up with Malfoy anyway."

Jadine shrugged. "I guess its because Malfoy knows I'm the best at Potions in our year, and he can get away with making me do the potion and him sleeping. Well its either that or well that. So yeah. I don't complain. I like doing the potions by myself, and everyone else would try to help me." Maybella nodded.

Jadine sighed. "Well I better get going. Don't want to be late, we don't want Snape giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful any longer now do we?" She said as she walked away. Tiffany sighed and shook her head. Maybella grinned, and Araya laughed.

Jadine walked into the Potions room about five minutes later. She saw only Draco and his goons, Crabbe and Goyal, along with Pug-faced Pansy. Malfoy looked up at her and practically pointed to the seat next to him. She rolled her eyes and sat down. Within minutes the class was packed with her fellow Gryffindors and Slytherins. Halfway through the painfully boring class, as predicted, Malfoy fell asleep. She looked up. Goyal was sitting next to Malfoy on his other side.

Jadine grinned and looked up to see Snape glaring at Neville with his back to her. She grabbed Malfoy's arm that was closer to Goyal then her. Jadine counted her blessings that Malfoy was such a deep sleeper. She quickly drew a decent liking of the Dark Mark, though her snake looked more like a skinny line. and her skull was a little more cartoonish for her liking. But it would suffice.

Looking around nobody saw her, so she put his arm in a way that Goyal could get a hold of it to draw on it. She saw Snapejust finishing his little 'You-are-the-worst-student-I've-ever-had-so-now-cry-I-said-cry-Gryffindor' speech at Neville.

Turning back to her Potion, she smiled. Snape hadn't saw a thing.

At the end of the class Jadine nudged Malfoy awake. Luckily the little twit was oblivious to the drawing on his arm as he shook his robes over it. Shaking her head in amusement she took the Potion they-well she had made up to Snape. As usual he ignored her, and she gathered her things slower then usual.

And on this day, instead of being the first one in her own words to 'FLEE!' the classroom, she was the last one, she stopped right in the door way and looked back at Snape. "Professor?" She asked innocently.

"What?" He asked harshly with a glare. "I just wanted to let you know, I was talking to Moaning Myrtle the other day, and she likes watching you sir. She said she watches you in the showers, so I think your giving her an eyeful. Because she really does like it, a little to much. She was giggling a lot!" She said then ran out.

As she ran into the Transfiguration room and sat down next to Tiffany. She smiled and hid her giggling behind coughs. The look of shock on his face was enough that she just might like this list. She looked at Maybella and put a thumbs up.

"So?" Tiffany asked. "Malfoy has the picture on his arm, and Snape was shocked to hear that Myrtle has a crush on him now." Jadine giggled out, Tiffany smiled. "Good."

* * *

After an uneventful lunch, she walked out of the Great Hall with Tiffany, intent on heading to Ancient Runes. Though she wasn't looking where she was going and ran into someone. "Well-well-well, lookie here. The one who dared to draw on me." She backed away and glared at Malfoy. "What are you talking about Ferret." Tiffany said with a glare at them.

"This doesn't have anything to do with you Flower." Malfoy glared at her. She looked at his goons who stood behind them. "I don't have a clue what your talking about Malfoy." Jadine said cooly. She raised her left eyebrow at him.

"Don't lie to me Stone, I know your where the one who drew that hideous thing on me." "What thing?" She said. "This!" Then raising his left forearm and showing a faint green outline. He had obviously scrubbed it off as well as he could. "A Dark Mark? Wow Malfoy I didn't know you were into that stuff." Jadine said unimpressed.

"I know you did this Stone." "Malfoy I sit on your right, Goyal sat on your left. Had I done it I would have disturbed your sleep, not only that but everyone would be able to have saw me. That and I'm sure you have rabies, and I don't want them." Jadine said like everything was obvious.

Malfoy glared at Jadine, as did Crabbe and Goyal. "Look Malfoy, I hate partners in Potions, I hate having others help me, in practically everything. You sleep or do nothing in that class. That's why I choose you as a partner. That and your not a know-it-all like Hermione Granger. Why would I jeopardise that?" Jadine asked and tilted her head in a what she hoped was an innocent way.

Malfoy turned his head up. "You make a good point Stone. But I have my eye on you. Should this happen again I will come after you and you will wish you where never borne." Then turned on his heel and walked away. His goons following behind.

"I never knew you could act." "Yan took acting classes as a kid, he taught us on occasion if we wanted." "I like Ianto he was fun to hang around." "Yeah a good uncle for us." Jadine shrugged and continued on to class.

"Hey is that how you got such a good poker face?" Tiffany asked getting into step besides Jadine. Jadine nodded.

"Two down ninety-nine to go." Jadine said. "This is going to be a long year."

"But a hilarious one at that." Tiffany laughed.

Jadine agreed by laughing along side Tiffany. Then stopped. "Now all we need to do is make a list for Umbridge and give it to Araya." She said. Tiffany grinned. "Yeah but after you and Snape."


	3. Number 3

The next day Jadine woke up earlier then Hermione. She sighed and got ready for the day. Walking down to the common room, she thought about her next rule on the list. She would obviously need to get the Twins in on the joke. Otherwise they might come after her with some of their 'projects', and she shuttered to thing of what would happen should that happen.

Of course they might not like to be given to Snape as gifts. Oh well. Snape wouldn't accept them anyway. She looked in the room.

"Merlin do you take pleasure in torturing first years?" Jadine said as they inspected a first year with a bloody nose. "Well no." George said. Well she was pretty sure it was George. "We just need someone to test-" "Our products!"

Suddenly Jadine was struck by an idea. Sure she was sure she would regret it later. But if it got the two bloody twins to help her she could live with it.

Unless they made her take a lust potion.

Then she'd kill them.

"You need someone to test your products?" She asked them as she sat down where the first year had been, before they healed him and sent him off.

They raised their eyebrows. "What I'm curious." Jadine said.

Then they both grinned. Oh yes she would regret this. "Why do you ask?" Fred said. "You want to-" "Test the products-" "For us?" Jadine shrugged "Sure for a price."

"Whats this-" "Price?" They said sitting down on either side of her. "I have a prank to do on Snape. I need your help."

"We knew it!" Fred said smiling like a madman. "We knew you'd join the dark side!" George said with a matching expression. Something that Jadine didn't like at all. She waved them off and continued. "The prank involves you, I don't need advice or products. Just you." The looks on their faces did nothing to calm her.

"Oh-" "Really? Fred I think-" "We might be able-" "To help." Jadine glared at them. "I just need to give you two as gifts to him." They stared at her for a few seconds. Then on cue their eyebrows raised. "Gifts?" They said together.

"Yes." Jadine nodded. "I'm to refer to you twins as book ends then give you to him as a gift." She looked at the ground. "I'll test your products for you, for a month."

They looked at each other over her head. And did that freaky 'I'm-a-twin-I-read-my-twin's-mind-thingy' her brother and sister did. Then both grinned. "That would be overpaying-" "Our dearest Jadine." George said and put his arm over her shoulder. "We may be pranksters-" "But we don't cheat-" "Anyone." Fred finished and grinned. "Then how long?" Jadine asked.

They again looked over her head, again doing the freaky mind thingy she hated. "Well, contrary to popular belief." "We do have trouble sometimes-" "With the girls we like-" "You know?" They said and Jadine blinked and stood up.

"You want me to get you a date with a girl?" Jadine suddenly started laughing. "Hey!" They both said and shushed her. "Listen Jade-" "In Stone." "We do have girls falling over at our feet!" "The girls we like don't!"

"Let me guess Angie and Alicia, don't like you like that. What a shame, they did go to the ball with you." Suddenly They practically jumped up clamping their hands over her mouth. "Shush, we don't-" "Need that getting out." She nodded but still giggled.

"Okay so you'll help me with Snape. And I help you two get the girls?" Jadine said raising her brow. They nodded. "And you keep-" "Your mouth shut about us needing help."

Jadine nodded. "Deal." The twins nodded and left, looking like they where going to find another first year to torture.

* * *

The next day at lunch. Jadine slid up behind Fred and George just before they walked into the Great Hall. "Oi Idiots come on, Snape's coming this way!" She said and dragged them off.

"Jade-" "In Stone!" The two twins said to her as they fell in step behind her. "How in Merlin's baggy pants-" "Do you know that?"

Jadine held up the Marauders Map. "I may have, well to loosely put it 'borrowed' this from Harry's trunk?" She chuckled. "We knew we'd draw you over to the dark side-" "Sooner or later."

"Good now shut up. I don't want anyone knowing I got this. I want to do this and run, and then put this thing back. Before Harry finds out and goes crazy at me." Jadine said then waved her wand at the map while saying "Mischief Managed. Now come my twin gifts for the greasy git!" She said then dragged them to the corner of the corridor. The two sighed but relented.

Snape turned the corner and stopped at the sight of the three. "Weasley's you aren't forcing her into a prank are you?" He asked with a glare at the two of them.

Jadine pouted in her head. She was upset that he didn't think she could be the ring leader this time. She could feel the two behind her not say a thing.

Snape glare just got harder as he turned to her. "Miss Stone what is going on?" he asked menacingly. "Well sir, I was thinking. And I decided to us the copy spell you know _Geminio_? Well mainly because they look so much like Bookends sir." She said innocently. Well as innocently as she could. "And I know you go this way sir, to get to lunch, so I thought I'd give you them. It would scare most students from annoying you in your class again." She finished and smiled in a way that just radiated naiveness.

Snape's glare did not lessen. And thankfully the twins didn't move. She hoped they where playing along, and didn't ditch her. Because then she'd kill them. "Miss Stone that is inappropriate of you to do so. You will get rid of these _things_ right this minute. And I'll take five points from Gryffindor. Do not try my Patience again." He hissed out and moved past her.

"Only _five_ points?" Fred's voice hissed in Jadine's ear. "What are you?" George said from the other side. "His daughter!" They chimed together. Jadine shook her head.

"No I'm just quiet in his class and never get in trouble." Jadine said and stuck her tongue out at them. "Now come. I'm hungry."

* * *

"Angel! Ali!" Jadine called as she came into the Common room after dinner. Fred and George were conveniently in detention with McGonagall. "Yes?" They said to her looking up from their conversation.

"Okay I have the question." Jadine said sitting down next to Angelina. "What?" "Do you two like Fred and George?" They blinked and looked at each other. Despite this she saw they where blushing. "So do you?" She questioned.

"Yes." Angelina said while Alicia nodded. "Good." Jadine said. "Because they are idiots and like you as well." She said to them.

"What?" Alicia said. "They are shy and like you but don't want to tell you." Jadine said to them and stood up. "I suggest you tell them that you like them. It might ease their nerves." She smiled waved and hurried up to her dorm room to get ready for bed.


End file.
